The Edge of the Abyss: Ambiguous Loss, Tragic Optimism, and The Birth of A Mythic Reality
Ambiguous loss is a term coined by Pauline Boss (1999) that differentiates itself from ordinary loss in how it does not translate into a sense of finality and leaves room for questioning whether a person (or situation) will come back to return to the way they (or it) used to be. This becomes a psychological chasm of sorts in terms of the energetic capacity it takes to grieve all of the unknown parts, physically mobilize oneself to move forward, and try to create existential understanding. The year 2020 stands as a collective archetype for this phenomena as months go on without a sense of “knowing;” that it is now the world turned upside down in perceiving if or when a “normal” will resume and how to necessarily cope with the various forms of ambiguity as we live through massive political, economic, and ecological changes.
In the context of psychotherapy, it is the loss of in-person therapy sessions that carries the healing power of nervous system regulation and a basic human need to defy a sense of loneliness in an era of increasing isolation. It is a neuroscientific fact that we are literally wired to connect and wired to heal in the context of a securely attached relationship. This is why we feel transformed after being in a shared space with someone who truly “sees us,” when mirror neurons become activated through the seeing of oneself reflected in the eyes of another. Undoubtedly, the human species is remarkably adaptable in transitioning and able to find connection through virtual space, but we must face and feel all of the parts of disconnection for our natural longing as humans to connect in a way our ancestors have for thousands of years. We must get real about the ambiguous loss of our fully embodied selves with an ever-increasing perpetuation of technological disembodiment.
Ambiguous loss can also create the potentiality for one to turn towards the concept of tragic optimism that Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Victor Frankl coined which gives meaning to one’s experience through the recognition that we don’t control everything and invites the deeper questions of: What can this experience teach me/reveal to me? How can this change me or awaken me further in my evolution as a soul on this Earth?
Those who are able to courageously answer these questions can then become the harbingers of the new mythic realities we can co-creatively begin to offer into manifest reality. As Carl Jung suggests, “when the declining myths of earlier generations begin to fade, the mythmaking process resides in individuals.” As the dominant cultural myth is dying in a multitude of ways, the “mythical misfits,” as mythologist Sharon Blackie has given name to, are being called upon to step forward to initiate the transformation of themselves and offer their gifts into the world.
This includes a rejection of a culture that does not value intuition nor imagination, and shifts the focus to the future development of personal meaning making and myths that can further align into the needs of the planet. This is a true wild card moment on this planet; where potentialities open unboundedly, ascended ancestors, angels, and guides are on call for support, and fatalist disempowerment can shift into meaning making and a purposeful existence.
Here are some ways to actively engage these concepts that I have been offering to my clients at this time:
1.) Develop and participate in a consistent daily movement practice; one that ideally includes breath work, heart rate variability, sustained focus, and sweat. We are more stationary than ever before with stress and trauma accumulating in the body. Create rituals and build routines that create new neural pathways in the brain that support both growth and a sense of regularity.
Embodiment = Empowerment
2.) Engage in mutual support rather than self-reliance. Realize how much we need each other on a systemic level. Adapt to the circumstances presenting themselves with tragic optimism and do the best with what’s in front of you. Begin with acceptance and see that it is neither weakness nor resignation but realism that can inform you in a conscious way.
3.) Begin to explore the mythic patterns in your own life through observing your dreams, make note of synchronicities, stories, symbols, and archetypes that surface again and again. First uncover/reveal the myth(s) that are being lived consciously or not, then engage in the act of creating/re-writing personal myths. Observe/discern/analyze how collective myths of the culture are woven into personal myths.
Mythic Elements Can Include:
The Call to Adventure
Exile or Return
The Apocalypse
Thresholds or Passageways
Births/Endings
Divine Intervention
Trickster/Animal Encounters
Archetypal Characters Can Include:
Outcasts/Rebels
Wizards/Magicians
Heretics
Wise Old Man/Woman
Otherworldly beings such as Ghosts, Spirit Guides, Ancestors
Artists
Witches/Priestesses
Kings/Queens
The Eternal Child/The Puer